Archive for December, 2008
Avoid Alienating Your Friends and Parners With These Principles
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Alienating your friends and partners directly or indirectly can ruin your friendships and career opportunities in the future. Here are five principles to think about utilizing to decrease your chances of self-inflicting alienation.
1. Do not withhold favors or being helpful when possible, a giver of good deeds is much better received than a taker.
2. When deserving support or advancement be sure to honor your friends and partners, sharing credit on co-operative projects and actions.
3. Do not take what is not yours or fail to return what you borrowed.
4. Never delay payment to or promotion of others it shows a disrespect of their service and time. If you can’t take care of things do not ignore them and pretend they don’t exist – this is a failure to live in reality.
5. Always right any wrong immediately. Take inventory quietly at the end of your day and make sure you were respectful and kind to all you encountered. If you were not make ammends where possible.
As the new year approaches resolve as many resentments and wrongs as you can, entering this new year with less hanging over you will be the best gift you can give yourself. There are always some wrongs that are difficult to make right but trying and retrying to fix as much as possible will be honored with open doors and opportunities in the future.
Best Wishes to everyone this Christmas and in 2009 may success and peace come to all of you.
Shellee Hale
Litigants stop wasting time and money end your disputes.
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There is no time like the present to close out the new year by ending an ongoing dispute. In the Book “The Way of Kings” by Drew Lawrence it is not better said than this interpretation:
“When there is an ongoing dispute between two parties, in time, both will perish Therefore strive for an alliance.”
Hire a great mediator, make a concilatory offer, take your losses and head into 2009 with less negative energy depleting your resources in your life. Sometimes principle or proving your right is just your ego in the way. I believe the translation above by Mr. Lawrence of the Sanskrti Vedas as there is no winners in the litigation process. Over the years we have seen the karmic powers that haunt all the parties in the OJ Simpson case the sadest being the passing of Robert Kardashian and Johnny Cochran – how short lived their victory really was. We have seen litigants who were awarded large sums of money only to end up broke and resentful all over again shortly after their payouts.
I can not stress enough how it is not worth the battle. Justice can be free it is so much easier to end a dispute than it is to keep it going.
Make an effort to end your disputes immediately and quit carrying those old grudges and battles forward. If you need help getting out of a mess email me and I will do my best to get you numerous free options to help.
Capital Foundation of a Successful “One”
Posted by: | CommentsThe judgement of success is relative but in my mind the successful “one” is balanced in all areas of his or her life. Not only does this person have wealth but good health and a never ending desire to improve their knowledge of things and interest’s in people.
I recently got picked up by a wealthy client upon climbing into their car I was surprised to see this person with great financial strength driving around in a car that was quite cluttered with papers, empty coffee cups and clothing. I changed our plans and made our first stop the car wash. I spent a few minutes organizing the mess that could not be disposed of and then threw out the trash. Upon leaving the car wash I looked over at my client to see a transformation, it looked as though he had lost 10 pounds. He sat up straighter and his conversation was less scattered. He thanked me as the success of his career may have been taking off as of late but there was a lack of balance which was manifesting within his car.
Take an inventory today of your surroundings and within yourself and if any one area is lacking give it some attention. If it means heading to the gym for a short walk on the treadmill to improve your “heart” rate or cleaning your car or your house so that it is welcoming for your friends and co-workers at a minutes notice. Be the one who feels comfortable including others in your space because that space is representative of your capital foundation and it’s strength.
Your welfare and happiness will surely advance to greater heights with improved organization and qualities like intelligence, aptitude and a healty body. Improving your success internally and externally and having them match with who you say you are will give you more credibility. Make sure you’re surroundings are reflective of all of you.
This is taken from my client files as well as my journal “Clifanese – Lessons from a Great Father” written in February 1979 and “a Constitution For Living” by P.A. Payutto
Don’t be afraid to admit you’re wrong
Posted by: | CommentsYour biggest mistakes and egocentric decisions that were wrong may be your biggest savior moving forward. Admitting to your mistakes and clarifying through discussion what you did wrong and how you overcame the challenge is a testimonial to your humaness.
It is sometimes draining to listen to people stuck in the whining. Those who are focussed on problems rather than solutions tend to tell the same story over and over again never getting to a solution. Moving these types of clients into solution oriented thinking is not difficult but takes some effort and hand holding. Often a client who has been problem and drama centralized will be quite defensive when you first bring to their attention how often they spend obsessed with the problems and blame before they really can see their part in the whole thing. If their talking about it often enough and it is still a problem they are part of it.
Coaching people into being solution oriented is a productive challenge I enjoy. If a client of mine comes to me with a problem I expect them to solve it quickly and the money they spend for my help best be recouped one way or another within 3 months or I did not do my job.
Part of my job is making others look good. Helping my clients be better story tellers guiding them to talk about a problem briefly but turning to how they solved it quickly is one of my first goals especially with managers. A great leader will get out of the drama and whining phase and move to motivating through experience and success. Your most captivating personal stories that show you are human will include the errors you made and how you stood up to the challenges and solved them.
We all make mistakes, admit when you are wrong and stop trying to force the squares into the circles.
